


Acceptance

by WhiteravenGreywolf



Series: If I stay [51]
Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Carol is finding herself again, F/F, Five Stages of Grief, Okoye is the wisest of them all, The end of it anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-07 20:23:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18880579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteravenGreywolf/pseuds/WhiteravenGreywolf
Summary: Carol has been putting off listening to that message she received from space for two days now, and when she learns that people need her help out there, she's faced with a choice: Go back to space and help those who need her, or remain on Earth.





	Acceptance

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This story marks the shift from one part of the five years to the other. We're not to Endgame yet but it should come soon enough.  
> Rewatching Endgame yesterday was awesome, I noticed so many new details and I think I enjoyed it even more than the first time. I was trying to look in the background during the fight at the HQ but then my eyes were getting all chameleon and I couldn't keep up! Also forgot just how gay Carol looked at Tony's funerals! Like seriously, it's not even a contest, she wins every time over Bucky and his bomber jacket!  
> Anyway, as usual, I hope you enjoy!

Carol had locked herself in her room and closed the blinds. She was seated on her bed, the arm of her Starforce suit sprayed across her lap. The computer had been beeping frantically for two days now. She just hadn't had the courage to answer. She stared at the little green dot appearing and disappearing in the corner of the screen. It wouldn't go away, not until she listened to whoever had tried to call her. She just had the feeling that it wouldn't be who she wanted it to be.

  
She swiped her fingers over the screen. A hologram appeared over it. A woman Skrull in uniform. Carol vaguely remember meeting with that woman before, one of Talos' seconds, though she had completely forgotten her name. Good thing the woman introduced herself first:

  
"Captain Marvel, my name is Anelle, I have been chosen by the rest of my people to lead the mission Talos had started."

  
She paused for a second then continued:

  
"Unfortunately after the events of two years ago, we cannot spare the resources necessary to find the rest of our people still in hiding. The Krees are no longer after us but the council has decided to stop searching and settle on an inhabited planet which has been kind to us, S-08. I feel for the few of us still hidden. In the span of 30 years, we grew our numbers five times what we thought had been left, and lost half of us once again. We need to find everyone else, which is why I am asking for your help, Captain Marvel. We acknowledge how much you have already done for us, but General Talos always believed in you in our worst moments. If you can find our brethren and show them the way home, we will have nothing but eternal gratitude."

  
The message cut there, with one last nod from Anelle. As soon as the hologram had disappeared, Carol placed her costume beside her. She sighed longly, shakily. This was what she'd wanted to do so many years ago. She'd wanted to finish what Mar-Vell had started, help the Skrulls find a new home, find each other. Talos had told her then that she had already done too much for them, she'd already sacrificed six years of her life without even knowing it, and she had a life to get back to. What would have happened if she had left that day, twenty-six years ago, Carol wondered.

  
No Maria. No Monica. No Avengers. All of her friends she had lost and the ones she still had, she wouldn't have known any of them. Would she had even returned to Earth after the snap? Would she had even known about Thanos? Maybe she would have, and she would have been able to kill him long before he got the stones. And maybe, she would have been just as ignorant, because she would have had nothing worth protecting, to begin with.

  
But this time, she had the chance to do it again. To do what Talos wouldn't let her do almost three decades ago. Help the Skrulls, maybe help everyone who needed her help. She had no life to get back to. Her life had been snapped away almost three years ago. Monica was an adult, she didn't need her. The rest of the Avengers could take care of Earth without her. Maybe she should take a page out of Nebula and Rocket's book and go to space. Come back once in a while. There was nothing left for her on Earth. Still, every morning she woke up with that sliver of hope that everything had been magically fixed, and Maria was waiting for her at home. Then she looked at her phone and saw the date, and struggled to get out of bed because what was even the point anymore?

  
Carol stood up and picked up her outfit. She changed quickly and walked through the HQ with determination, all the way to the door. She needed to talk to someone about this.

* * *

  
  
Maria had been the wisest person she'd known, in Carol's opinion. Or at least, she was the only one who knew exactly what to say, and when to say it, to take Carol out of her own uncertainty. Carol knew if she'd talked to Maria about the dilemma she was in, she would have been very quickly able to show Carol that she had already made her choice. But Maria wasn't there anymore, to show her the way to the truth. So instead, Carol went to see the wisest person she knew.

  
Okoye tackled her easily, holding her on her belly in the sand, one knee on her back and her right arm pulled back, pulling on her shoulder. If Carol hadn't been more resistant than a typical human, she would have been in a lot of pain. As it were, she was only slightly annoyed, but also too preoccupied and empty to care about how many times she'd literally bit the dust. She didn't try to struggle or use her superior strength to topple the warrior. Instead, she hit the sand twice with her free hand, giving up. Okoye let her go and step back.

  
"If you're not going to fight, there is no point in us fighting," she said.

  
Carol pushed herself up, brushing sand off of her outfit. She'd discarded her suit after arriving, and was only wearing sweatpants and a tank top that used to be white but was now orange from the sand on which they'd been training. It sank lightly under her feet and made her want to fly away before that big circle of sand turned into a pool of quicksand and sucked her in.

  
"I am fighting."

  
She picked up the wooden staff she'd been landed for this sparing session.

  
"Your body is fighting, your mind is not."

  
Carol shook her head and took a fighting stance again.

  
"I've got too much to think about."

  
"So you've told me."

  
Okoye charged first, holding her staff like a spear. Carol had no choice but to step back and block any of Okoye's attack with her staff. She definitely wasn't used to using any sort of long weapons, and the more the fight progressed the more Carol's hands moved on the staff until she was almost holding it like a sword, both hands in the middle of the pole, desperately trying to block Okoye's lightning fast attacks. Okoye knew exactly what she was doing. Every time her staff hit Carol's it wouldn't stop, it would continue on its way and she would twirl it in her hands, around her neck, behind her back. She would turn with it, unafraid that for the split second her back was turned Carol would get a chance to strike. Carol never even had a chance. Before she could strike back, her staff was snatched out of her hands. She took the end of the pole in her belly and was knocked back. She stood firm, though. She was tired of taking a beating, and now that her hands were free, she could act.

  
She blocked the staff with her arm and got a hold of it with her other hand. Okoye kicked her in the knee, and Carol's balance was wobbly enough that Okoye pulled her weapon out of Carol's grasp. Carol avoided two more vertical strikes, sidestepping and leaning away from the staff. When it came horizontally her way, she first blocked it with her arm. Like the previous times, it didn't stop at her, and Okoye twirled it from one hand to the other before she tried to hit Carol again, with another horizontal swipe. Carol rolled under and pushed herself up. She jumped, clenching her fist, ready to punch her way out of the fight. Her fist collided by the staff, and it snapped in half. Before the other half had even touched the ground Okoye picked it up, now holding one half of her staff in each hand. Carol smirked and took her fighting stance again, holding her fists up.

  
"Are you postulating to become the new Black Widow? Cause I doubt Nat is letting it go just yet."

  
Okoye didn't respond. She attacked instead. With both staffs up, she tried to strike down on Carol, two vertical strikes at the same time. Carol blocked them both with her arms. Okoye kicked her in the stomach. Carol was pushed back. She fell into the sand on her back. Before she could stand up, the splintered part of one of the staffs was pointed at her throat.

  
"Ask me your question again," Okoye said, without letting Carol move.

  
Carol frowned. Question? What question did... oh.

  
"Did you just beat it out of me with a stick?"

  
Okoye threw both halves of the broken staff away. They rolled off on the stone ground at the edge of the pool of sand. Carol sat back up, brushing the sweat which had started to form on her forehead.

  
"Your method is interesting," she commented.

  
Okoye sat down beside her.

  
"I understand your struggle, Captain Danvers. We have all been through difficult times, and it was easy to forget who we are."

  
Carol nodded. She felt like she'd been underwater for so long she had forgotten that she was supposed to swim up for air from time to time. She hadn't felt like herself, really like herself, in such a long time. She took a deep breath, enjoying the crisp air of Wakanda around her.

  
"You're a fighter, Carol. You just needed someone to hit you hard enough to remind you."

  
Carol chuckled.

  
"Consider myself reminded."

  
"What are you going to do then?"

  
Carol let out a long breath. She could stay here, looking down at the city under the sun for the rest of her life, and she would be happy.

  
"I'm leaving. I shouldn't be seating here on Earth, waiting for something impossible to happen. She wouldn't want me to. I have to make her proud, and people out there need me even more than before. So, I guess it's time I take my show on the road. Captain Marvel is going to space again."

  
Okoye nodded.

  
"Good."

  
Carol stood up, brushing the sand off of her pants and holding out a hand to help Okoye up. Okoye stood up quickly and walked out of the sand pit.

  
"What, not one last round?"

  
"This is the training pit where eight generations of Dora Milaje have been training. I will not let you destroy it."

  
Carol knew she should probably feel offended, but instead, she could only laugh.

* * *

  
  
Carol found Monica in her bedroom, watching something on her computer. She sat up when Carol walked in and closed the door.

  
"Hey, we've been looking for you all afternoon. Where have you been?"

  
"I was seeking counseling from a friend."

  
"Counseling, hm? Did it work?"

  
"Oh yeah, the power of beating the truth in you with a wooden pole is very strong with her."

  
Monica frowned in confusion. Carol moved closer to Monica and came to sit on the bed beside her.

  
"I had a call from the new Skrull general today. They want my help."

  
"Oh. How long is this going to take?"

  
Carol shook her head.

  
"I'm leaving tomorrow and I don't know when I'll be back. If I'll be back."

  
Before Monica could say anything Carol explained:

  
"There's nothing left on Earth for me. I can't just sit around and wait for Maria to magically reappear when we both know it's not happening. Not now, not ever. Earth doesn't need me. It has the other Avengers. It has you. You're an adult and you don't need me either. So, I'm going off to space where people need me, really need me. I hope you understand and you don't feel like I'm abandoning you, it's..."

  
Before Carol could finish, Monica stood up and came to stand in front of her, looking down at her with her arms crossed.

  
"You are not going anywhere without me."

  
"Monica..."

  
"We're a team, remember? It's together or nothing. I've been seating her waiting for something to happen, something that isn't another damn satellite to fix. I have all of these amazing powers that could do a lot of good out there. You know it, I know it, so we are going to help the Skrulls together."

  
Carol sighed, then smiled. Stubborn like her mother.

  
"Fine. Captain Marvel and Photon in space."

  
Monica smiled back with confidence.

  
"Imagine all the adventures we're going to have!"

  
"There will be no adventures at all if we don't tell Natasha we're going."

  
This seemed to cool both of them very quickly.

  
"You're going to tell her?" Monica asked.

  
"I was hoping I could leave discreetly and stick a letter on the fridge. Wait around a couple of decades and come back once she'll be too old to kill me..."

  
Monica shook her head.

  
"There will never be a moment when she is too old to kill you, I think. Something tells me even eighty-year-old Black Widow will still be able to kill you with her bare hands..."

  
Carol shivered at the thought.


End file.
